I get this question a lot...usually it is from a stranger who just discovered the size and age of our family and the inquiry is most often accompanied with either a look of "your crazy" or "you must be a saint." And I have found it to be a rhetorical question--people aren't really looking for an answer, just making a passing comment. (I know that it is rhetorical, because I usually don't answer it...I'm not always sure how to answer it, as I will explain.)
What is the it that I am supposed to be doing?
Is it house cleaning, school teaching, dish cleaning, shoe tying, supper making, diaper changing, teeth brushing, bath giving, sheet changing, clothes washing, nose wiping, tear drying, fight moderating, hair fixing, heart training, times six?
Or is it learning to glorify God and enjoy Him forever as a mother of six?
If it is the former, many days and weeks I am overwhelmed, I don't do it and can feel much stress at the thought of "how can I do it?"
If it is the latter, then I am released because God's burden is light and His yoke is easy. Christ has done his work on the cross and I am released to find complete satisfaction and peace in Him and as much as I am resting in Him I am doing it. Did you hear that--resting?? Hmmm... that sounds great to me, far better than the first alternative!
So, now the question is tweaked a bit--amidst the first it, how do you do the second it? (are you still with me?) because the first it must still be done. There are many things that can create a restful spirit in a mother--devotions, prayer, listening to sermons, worship--they are the means of grace. Beyond that, I have learned to ask myself continually, "does it (the first it) glorify God?" (or for a tongue twister you could say, "does it do it?" :-) What should I be doing right now to glorify God--this very moment? Is it sweeping? Then I am released to sweep without thinking about thinking about the bazillion other its. Is it cuddling on the couch with my littles and their favorite book? Then I am free to cuddle with out worrying about the crumbs on the floor. Is it taking a nap? Then I set the littles down with a book of their own, I lean the broom against the wall and I rest my weary head. Learning to ask, "what would glorify God for me to do right now?" is freedom! It's is freedom from guilt and freedom from stress. And if you never get to the bottom of your list of its, but you've been living to God's glory all day, then be at peace--God never meant for you to do them anyway, and to fret about it wouldn't be helpful to your soul.
One may ask, "how do you know if something glorifies God?" Usually, I just pray. "God, what should I do next to glorify you?" Is it possible that this is partly what scripture means by "pray without ceasing?" I think so...other than that, I use my best God given wisdom.
Oh, there are times (many more than I wish) that I fail to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. But Christ is gracious to forgive--he remembers that I am dust and that as much as I strive to live before Him and rest before him, I am often still overwhelmed and frustrated at the end of the day, but thankful for Christ's atoning blood. And well, tomorrow will be a new day and His mercies will be new as well. Isn't he a great Father?
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10 comments:
I really love this post. My life is different but as a working single mom I must make a lot of judgement calls about what to do with an evening, an hour a moment. I think Satan wants us leaving in guilt and regret but while Christ wants us to be good stewards of our time his concern has very little to do with this world- it is about our souls. So much peace is available for those of us who can't manage everything on earth (I think that is all of us). Praise to our gracious God!
Hey Diana! My how do you do it question is how do you stay sane? I only have 3, but they are still so young, requiring much attention and diapers and car seats and help with most daily tasks. I feel silly admitting my struggle with this while you have 6 and have such a joyful attitude about it! You must truly sacrifice daily, how do you do that!?!
First all, I don't *always* have a joyful attitude about sacrifice. I am a sinful person in need of God's grace. My children would eagerly attest to the fact that I am by no means a perfect parent. (a few months ago, my one child even prayed for my salvation because I got angry with another child ;-) I have learned to lean very heavily on God's grace...to trust Him to be a perfect parent for my kids, because I fall short. And Lord willing, as the children grow, they will say "Even though Dad and Mom weren't perfect, God is awesome and I want to follow Him." Because that's what it is all about anyway.
Second, having three small children is one of the hardest stages--believe it or not! You do have to do a lot! Once you get past three, herd mentality takes over :-) LOL! Seriously though, my "older" kids can not only buckle themselves, but can also buckle their siblings. My six year old daughter gets the little boys dressed! They set the table, sweep the floor (at least well enought to get by!), unload the dishwasher and I just taught them to do laundry!! --it needs to be moderated by mom still, but at least they can go put a new load in! :-) There is a HUGE difference between what a three year old can do and what a six or seven year old can do! And as you keep working on your little ones' hearts, you will begin to see more fruit--less temper tantrums; more joyful service. I've heard of these years being called the "tunnel years" and I agree...you are in the middle, but trust me--I'm not quite out yet, but I see the light at the end! Keep trusting in God and "do not grow weary in doing good!" :-)
Thanks Diana. I really needed that encouragement. I do get glimpses every so often of the "helper heart" and that gives me hope! Its good to know you think this stage is hard! Thank you a million times over. =)
Thanks for this reminder to rest in God's will. I also appreciate your reply to Lisa - those were definitely the hardest years for me. Now that mine are between 9-21 I am seeing the fruits of being diligent through the grace and mercy of God. It does get easier and it is very much worth it. Mine have grown into sisters and brothers in Christ with whom I can fellowship now - there are no words to describe that blessing.
Thanks Dianna! Loved this post!
His,
Debbie
(momys)
Okay, I HAVE to link to this post! It is so well-written!
Laura
Great post, Dianna. People ask me that too and my answer- in my head or out loud- is "I don't." I don't get "it" all done if the "it" is the cleaning, laundry, meals, etc that most women are talking about. Now I just need to keep working on the other "it" !!
What a wonderful post! You don't know how badly I needed to read it today. I'm going to print it off and re-read it as needed! I was just talking to a group of moms from my homeschool co-op about this subject last night. I am so hard on myself and I often let Satan get the best of me by beating myself up over and over and over instead of just resting with Jesus and realizing what you wrote! Bless you.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this post. I needed this so much.
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